OTHER STUFF
Kerry Packer is the wealthiest man in Australia!
We all know that. But how good are his economics skills?
Well, the aim of Channel Nine's new program, Packer Takes
On, is to find out -- in an entertaining way!
THE SHOW
MONEY, FAME, POWER... everybody's attracted to it. So who
better to put on a half-hour Saturday night TV show than the
richest man in the country, Kerry Packer, and pitting him
against another of Australia's richest people each week in
a test of brains, brawn and mathematical skill?
Picture it: Two chairs facing each other under a spotlight.
Sitting in those chairs are wealthy business moguls Kerry
Packer and, say, Lindsay Fox. For half an hour (minus commercials),
the studio and home audience thrill to the sight of two rich
men counting their money!
Positioned behind each man is his own personal paycheck for
the week, represented by two huge piles of cash. Each week,
two special Channel Nine personalities -- Rove McManus, Mick
Molloy, Ray Martin... whoever's on contract -- will help Packer
and his opponent by running back and forth with more and more
wads of money for them to count! Each mogul is equipped with
one calculator, which is hooked up to an LCD display mounted
overhead. Supervising judges will hover over them, making
sure they don't falsify their tally, because the aim of the
game is to see how much money each man can count in the half-hour
allotted!
ROUND ONE
While Packer and opponent count, a crack team of economists
will sit behind a big desk and fill us in on each man's business
dealings for the week -- how much they made, their expenditures,
their sackings, their respective share prices -- using helpful
charts and colourful animation. Business made fun!
ROUND TWO
The count heats up, as the businessmen are "put off
their game" by special Distractions. One or two Distractions
will be employed each episode -- comedians, bands, annoying
celebrities, people doing domino knockdowns -- anything to
distract and disorient our two contestants, while entertaining
the audience! It'll be a riveting final minute countdown,
as, say, Rodney Rude screams as loud as he can into Kerry
Packer's ear, while David Strassman and Chuck Wood insistently
cackle at Kerry Stokes!
ROUND THREE
Finally, it's time for some physical action! In an attempt
to lessen the girth and improve the health of our two (usually)
ample contestants, Round Three is the Physical Challenge round.
The man that counted the most money in Rounds One and Two
will get a directly proportional head start on the Obstacle
Course! Different every week, the course will be filled with
the sort of low-budget chicanery you find in every 5 p.m.
kids' show: wading pools of slime, water slides, ladders,
bells and whistles, etc. When they get to the end, they must
each answer a trivia question relating to their businesses
-- to see just how much they know about the people, places
and work practices which are affecting their bankbooks.
Finally, the money they counted is tallied, and each man
receives a score based on the money amount, the obstacle course
and the trivia question. The winner in each episode receives
a bottle of wine from the loser's cellar.
WHY THIS WILL WORK
What's great about the show is the loose format, accomodating
different acts, a different contestant, and a different mood
in every show. We'll find out a little more about our contestants,
and, in time, I feel it will be extremely helpful to their
public profiles, as they will no longer be seen as distant
ogres, lording their riches over everyone, but rather as fun-loving
guys who do very, very well for themselves, and don't mind
a bit of slime in their customised Lycra business suits.
I expect that each man would build up a following of his
own, and, as such, the show would be very involving for Aussie
audiences, who, from footy to Sale Of The Century, love to
see their heroes succeed. A first-class merchandising blitz
will ensue: Packer Takes On T-shirts, mugs, fridge magnets,
dolls, all displaying your personal favourite contestant (Fox?
Smorgon? Laws?) all sold from the promotional website (at
NineMSN, of course!), and finally -- the Packer Takes On home
computer game. Now you too can be the richest man in the country,
developing your mathematical abilities while crushing other
rich people!
There's two hours free on Saturday nights now that Hey Hey
has been axed -- I suggest the 6:30 - 7:00 timeslot. People
are either settling in for the night or getting ready to go
out -- the show would make a nifty talking point over dinner
out with friends! ("Did you see Packer kick Bruno Grollo's
hairy arse on the show tonight?")
I truly believe this is an original show, with real possibilities,
and a great chance at success, if the enthusiasm is there,
and provided Mr. Packer doesn't suffer any more heart attacks.
It's just what Channel Nine needs -- a shot in the arm. Nine's
being left behind by youth-skewing networks and stations that
are willing to program new, interesting, thought-provoking
shows. Shows that aren't Australia's Funniest Home Videos.
Why not join them -- it'll be a game show for a new, thoughtful
millennium!
Sincerely,
David Blumenstein
Creator, Nakedfella
http://www.nakedfella.com/
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